No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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