if i can run in heels then i can drive
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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