I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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