Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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