Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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