Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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