I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i came on her dog
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
