Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
