I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
