My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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