Whod you bang
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
