my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
