absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
