She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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