): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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