dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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