im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize