Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
