the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Acid is not a monday night drug
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
