david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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