Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.

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(616): View more from Michigan

The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.

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(310): View more from California

He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night

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(239): View more from Florida

dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....

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(248): View more from Michigan

Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied

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(207): View more from Maine

I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.

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