Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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