and you said cock pushups were impossible
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
