Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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