p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
