He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
