fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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