Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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