Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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