If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
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we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
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Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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