i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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