i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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