Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
