our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
