Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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