best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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