was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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