I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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