So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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