Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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