My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
