how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
