is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
