She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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