Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize