On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
