No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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