my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
