So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize