Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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