i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
