He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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