Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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