if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize