she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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