I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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