I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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