I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
