I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I understand Curling. That high.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
