i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize