Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
