btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
