census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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