I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
