Screwed.edu
there's paper in my vomit.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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