I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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