I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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