Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
