Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize