He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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