i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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