I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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