There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
