Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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