is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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