he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
