I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
