end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
