why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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