I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
